People look at what I do – create customized estate and asset protection plans designed with the goal of keeping generations of families together – and ask me why I chose this line of work.

Simple: Someone failed to do it for me, creating a rift that meant I didn’t speak with my sister (and childhood best friend) for 27 years.

In the process, the piece of our mom’s estate most dear to her was gnawed to nothing by a pointless legal spat.

Let me tell you the whole story… because I never want this to happen to anyone, including you…

If you understand this story, hopefully, you can spare your heirs my fate.

Plus, you’ll understand my business – the practice I so proudly built and see how and why I believe we can help you on your way to where you want to be.

Those Ugly Family Money Spats

Believe it or not, my career of 40 years, largely focused on generational wealth planning, started way back in kindergarten when my biological father died.

That left my mom, an extraordinary woman who was also a brilliant teaching nurse, to raise four kids (who, as kids can be, weren’t always the best behaved) all by herself.

With everything we went through at such a young age, I became especially close with my younger sister, Maria, as we were born just 10 months apart.

Like I said, she was my best friend growing up.

Eventually, my mom met and remarried a great guy, Tony – also a teacher – and the family was blessed again when they had my younger brother.

A sense of stability returned to our family. But it didn’t last.

When I was in college, my mom and stepdad both were afflicted with cancer and would die just eight months apart.

Here’s where our real troubles began, which could’ve been avoided if we had the right estate plan – created by the right estate planner… someone who took the time to know our family.

Those troubles were sparked by a single, short conversation when my mom was at her sickest.

Just before she died, Mom basically told my sister: “If you sell the house, don’t take any less than this.”

This off-the-cuff comment caused three huge problems:

1. I wasn’t there, so I couldn’t weigh in.
2. When I heard the dollar figure Mom cited, I knew we’d never get it.
3. My sister took the comment as “Mom’s dying wish,” dug her heels in, and wouldn’t accept anything less when the time came to sell.

From the moment I learned of this, I saw exactly how this was going to play out.

And, sure enough, everything I feared became real.

The house appraised for much less than Mom’s “dying wish price.” My sister was “stubborn” at the open but soon shifted to “combative.”

We were listed as co-executors, and we couldn’t agree. She wouldn’t sign any papers. She wouldn’t negotiate. She wouldn’t even talk.

But, as co-executors trying to navigate probate, we had a fiduciary obligation to use the assets (like the house) to pay off the existing debts – including a mortgage nearing foreclosure.

We ended up in a “dueling lawyers” situation: She sued me, kicking off a court battle that would take three years to resolve.

In the end, the house sold for a lower price than I expected.

My sister, my other siblings, and I didn’t see a penny as the proceeds went to pay the lawyers.

And Mom’s “real wish” – not her literal statement, but her wish “in spirit” that all of us kids would get to share the money realized from the house she and my wonderful stepdad had purchased, raised us in, and built equity in over the decades – wasn’t met. It splintered the family.

My sister and I didn’t speak for nearly three decades. In essence, I spent that time mourning someone who was still alive. She missed out on years with my kids and grandkids. And they missed all that time with her.

Yes, she and I did eventually make up. And she did get to meet my kids. But she soon after took ill. She’s been gone for 10 years now, and all that missed time with my best friend and wasted angst is a source of regret that never goes away.

While small in comparison to the emotional cost, as a Financial Advisor, I cannot help but point out how big that cash pile could’ve grown over the years – especially if it had been invested in a vehicle that protected it from taxes.

Think about what that would’ve meant to our heirs had the balance gone to, say, college funds for the grandkids my mother never got to meet – what a better legacy that would have been for her.

Better Than Nothing

This is what’s known in the professional lexicon as a cautionary tale… a lesson in “what not to do.”

And I remember that lesson every single day, with every single client and every single estate plan we craft for families.

That lesson is “the why” behind the creation of my firm.

I swore when I entered this business that I would protect anyone I worked with as best I could from ever experiencing those same challenges, the emotional gutting, and the connected fallouts I suffered.

I saw and learned that there was a better way to help people resolve issues and make sure there was clarity among the family members.

Please Join Me…

We believe the tailored, tax-advantaged strategies* we design with care and intent to help our clients achieve their wealth-building goals are as important as they are powerful. And just as critical are the steps we take to educate beneficiaries and the future generations who may receive, live with, and enjoy what you created. We aim to do that by helping you pass along your story, your values, and your influence.

That’s a good thing. Heck, I believe it’s a great thing, for, in my mind, it fosters the generational “thread” that special families seem to maintain.

And it’s part of the services we believe make us a unique player in our field.

This is why I’ve staffed my team to cover not just investment management, as I’ve seen many advisers do, but also areas like taxes, investments, wills, specialized insurance, and financial education – all of which I believe are needed to help create a truly personalized plan.

And it all starts with our Wealth & Purpose Strategy Session.

That session is where we ask questions like:

• Are your assets in the right place and properly protected?
• Have you monetized the value of your business for your life?
• What would getting it right mean to you?

If you take only one thing from my story, make it this: An estate plan isn’t just about money; we believe it’s about protecting your family, your relationships, and your legacy.

I learned the hard way what happens when you have no clear plan, no shared understanding, and no experienced guide to help you navigate the process. It cost me decades with my sister, put me through an unnecessary legal battle where only the lawyers got paid, and left the spirit of my mother’s wishes unfulfilled.

That’s why I do what I do – so families like yours never have to go through what mine did.

You can reach out to us today to learn more about how we help clients navigate their financial goals and family dynamics with a long-term perspective.

John J. Parise

Founder & Managing Partner of Copper Beech Financial Group

Your Generational Wealth Partner

John J. Parise is a seasoned investment adviser who has helped families optimize their investments for taxes and developed cross-generational plans to preserve wealth for nearly 40 years. His firm, Copper Beech Financial Group (CRD #313156), is a proud member of the WorthNet partner adviser network. If you’d like to speak to John and his team about whether they can put some of these tools and techniques to use for you and your family, click here to schedule a complimentary consultation.

Ready to Connect with Copper Beech Financial Group?

Let’s Get Started.

Connect with Copper Beech Financial Group Now »

Last Revised: July 3, 2025